I think GF has read it...maybe she can give us some insight. I am wondering if it something my H should read if he is willing?
I decided to call H last night just to chat and see what time and where he wanted to go eat today. We ended up talking for about 30 minutes so that was nice. I was actually the one that said I needed to go because I needed to get some sleep. I am looking forward to lunch today.
Just got back from lunch and it was good. Conversation was good and it seems my old H is peeking out again. We even sat there and talked a while after we finished eating. I looked at my watch and was surprised that an hour had already gone by. I told H I needed to get back to work...and he tried to talk me into staying longer..which was surprising.
When we left he lingered around my car in the parking lot and then I got a hug and kiss. So lunch was good..now I am ready for Friday night.
H just sent me a text that said "Thanks for yesterday, I had a really good time." That's something he hasn't done in a long time. So far it seems he really is trying.
I know! I sent him a text back that said "Me too, and I am also looking forward to tomorrow." He sent one right back that said "I am too, so what's the plan for tomorrow?"
Maybe a good kick in the pants is what he needed to realize that I'm not going to be around forever. I think the comment he made a while back of "I don't try as hard with you because I know you will always be there" really made me see that I was making things WAY to easy for him.
I think it was well timed too...but well timed for me. I was serious and I was ready to file for D the very next day and would have done so if the talk had gone a different direction. If I had done it before I was ready, then he probably never would have taken me seriously about moving on.
Wow, Kris! Things are really beginning to look brighter over here! Awesome.
"NJF" is a GREAT book, IMO. Dr. Glass firmly believes, as do I, in NC between the UP and AP once the UP has made a new and active commitment to the M again. She's wonderful at explaining the necessary steps to take in rebuilding the R and building goodwill with one another.
If your H is willing, it would be very helpful if he read it, too. It might be a little emotionally difficult for the both of you to deal with, to realize how things got to the point that they did, but it IS needed to recover. Very important.
I heard that "After the Affair" by Janis Spring is a good one, too, for both spouses to read. I read it, too, back then - 3 years ago - but don't remember much of the book. Only that it helped me understand and cope with all of the emotions I was going through.
Root suggested I should read "Getting Back Together", too. Haven't looked into getting it yet though. Suppose I ought to, and quickly!
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Sounds like a good day and generally grand progress!
