Thank you for replying. :-) I have some contact with him, through email or texting or the phone, but not much. He's in another state for a few months for school.
He moved out unexpectedly in November after we had just had a nice Thanksgiving with family visiting. I thought he was just going through one of his phases but he didn't come back this time. He had a room at the barracks and said he wanted a divorce. I found out later that he had met up with some young girl before he moved out but by the time I found out about her, he had moved on to someone else, none of his OW have been serious or long lasting.
In January, his commander (who was in Iraq at the time, where my husband was supposed to be but they wouldn't let him because he was injured so he was in charge of rear detachment instead)found out that he was staying in the barracks. He sent a message to the captain to tell him to "get his a$$ out of my barracks and back home with his family where he belongs". So, after much stress, he moved back here for the month before he left for school. It didn't go well at first but I just kept my life going without him, respectfully, but not acting like his "wife", and using "tough love". It was hard for me but I knew I had to maintain my dignity and not be clingy.
Around Valentine's Day (a week before he was to leave for school), things started to change. He asked me on a date and we spent a lot of time together. Sex was a part of it, too. That's the one area where our passion for each other has stayed alive and strong, strangely.
By the time he left for school, it felt like a "normal" time of preparing for an army separation. We weren't talking about our relationship, we were just "having one". A week after he left, he surprised us by making the long drive back to surprise us and spend the weekend. We had a great time as a family.
We've had some big arguments in the past month, though, related to separating the finances. He has made a lot of changes in that area and I don't know from one week to the next if I'll have money to pay bills and take care of the kids. I finally had to go to his command and eventually victim advocacy on post to get him to commit to a dollar amount.
He doesn't process negative emotions well and tends to go into his "dark cave" as we call it around her. Plus, he seems to think that because he decided in his own head that he didn't want to be married anymore that it's just SO. There are no separation papers or anything. I am a stay-at-home mom as a career choice. I take this job very seriously and am passionate about it. He still has responsibilities to this family whether or not he lives like a single person or not.
