With regards to your W and MLC maybe, maybe not, but I just wanted you to read the sort of behaviours which your W is going to exhibit. The thing is you gonna have to ride a wild rollercoaster before this thing sorts itself out and theres no specific time limit.
The other thing I'm picking up from you is "how do you speed things up", simple answer is you don't. DB'ing doesn't speed things up, what it does is give you the tools to support yourself through this Sitch. So you are going to need to focus on the small things, the baby steps, and take one day at a time. All cliches, I know, but that's how it works.
Some pointers you may or may not want to hear.
Your W is unhappy with you, Your W is unhappy with the M In her mind she has already left the M and theres no talking her round. She is in pursuit of "Happiness" outside the M, so she will hook up with OM in the hope that happiness is there. She may stay out and just have a kiss with OM, she may have full blown PA, but you are the one thing that stands in the way of "Happiness" and OM so she going to be mean a cruel to you in the hope that you step aside. I guess that's all happening now.
For now all you can do is stay calm, GAL focus on you and practice as many of the 180's that are applicable to your sitch.
