He felt the conversation as pressure from me, intended to get him to act loving, when he isn't 'feeling' that way.
This is exactly where we are too. Just to give you a quick update, the taking turns on initiating sex seemed to be working, then my sister's cancer took a turn for the worse and she died late March. While H did try to help in his way, I felt emotionally abandoned. When I tried to explain it to him, his response was that he had no intention of acting loving towards me (basically b/c his needs were not being met).
I stumbled on a book by a buddhist nun called "When THings Fall Apart" which I actually thought would help with my sister's death, but it turns out to be much more interesting for my M. I have always tried to be the "fixer," and this book suggest instead of trying to move things to the left or right, stay in the middle. Do nothing. Well, I'm on Day 6, and I have to say that I am feeling more like "me" than I have in a long time.
I doubt I will have the patience to keep my mouth shut for long, but I have the problem when talking to H of either getting defensive or teary. So, doing nothing feels right at the moment. I'm curious as to whether he will step up to the plate, or will he continue with no affection and not wanting to do anything with me?
H told me I "snap" at him all the time. He's been keeping a scorecard! I have definitely been having some pms issues (the whole hormone imbalance thing), but I know sometimes I do snap after I've been pushed away for the 10th time when trying to hug him.
I honestly don't know which way to turn, but this "living in the middle" is bringing me some clarity. And some peace. So, I thought I'd mention it to you.
