Sounds like she was never really back. But what really struck me is that she is still in a place where she thinks marriage is about your heart going pitter-patter all the time. She won't be able to give you what you need, because she is too busy looking at what she needs.
You may be right. The first two months of the year were really great and it seemed like she was fully back, but she has said recently that she was sort of faking it hoping that the feelings would come back. I'm not sure what she is looking for. She tells me that she knows marriage is not always the passionate and exciting love that you see in early relationships, but she's looking for more than what we have. Or maybe it is that she is trying to figure out if her expectations are too high and what we have is really good.
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It's great that you are staying "friends", but I'd suggest using this time as she suggested, to discover what life is like without her. It could actually be really good. She won't come back if she sees you needy and desperate for her. And you hopefully wouldn't want her back again if she wasn't truly willing to work through her issues.
I'm doing just that. The night before last was my first night 'alone' in the house. No Mo2C, no kids. The house is too big for just me and it was lonely. That night was tough, but I'll be staying busy and looking to try new things.
I'm definitely trying to get out of my comfort zone. I've been doing karate since the beginning of the year and last night I took part in a full contact, kick-boxing match. Our dojo was helping some guys train for a tournament. The guy I fought is a couple of belts above me, but a little smaller. I went for a two minute round. It is EXHAUSTING!! and my ribs are killing me today. I think he may have cracked one, but I'm glad I did it.
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She'll just leave again, because frankly, marriage is not great excitement. It's comfortable...not adrenaline packed like a new hot and heavy relationship. I think there was a time that my wife was like yours, concerned that she made the wrong choice coming back. The only difference is that my wife worked through it and stayed.
This is exactly what she doesn't want to happen. She doesn't want to come back half-heartedly and then find herself wandering again a year or two down the road. In one of our last talks, she said that now was the perfect time to try this separation, because we are getting along so well. If she had left at the end of last year, she probably would not have come back. If she stayed in the house, she would always question if she made the right choice. She sees this as a way to really figure out if our marriage is what she wants.
