Point me in the right direction

[BryanS]

W and I are piecing but I need help with something. We do not live together haven't for over a year due to work ( both military). Had a big fight back in Jan and were not very nice to each other for two months. I asked for and got legal S from her in the beginning of Mar. First time in our troubled M I had ever pushed the D issue. During this whole time I've been telling her I dont want a D but I dont know what else to do when she won't apologize for what she says and does. Mid mar she goes online and meets a guy who is also separated and they start talking. Friendship lasted about a week before it started down the dating trail. We have since reconciled and she is ending that R but I have some issues with it.

W says nothing sexual happened and I believe her. Said she was his girlfriend and so she held his hand and kissed him and even slept in our bed with him but nothing else. Again I believe this. Problem is she won't really apologize for it she says we were S on our way to D and so I had no right to her at all. Because I believe nothing more than what we told me happened I want to forgive this but I can't seem to when she acts like its my problem and I need to get over it. I have so many problems with how this happened and I dont feel I can talk to her about it because she just tells me its me "not letting go" again.

If anyone has encountered something like this or knows of a helpful thread I would appreciate the assitance. Thanks