Sorry Sandi, I did see you say this, I was just looking for other comments.
The thing is, yes I would like to do all this, but am in so much pain on and off at the moment and my W is of the opinion that she keeps the house whatever. Now, I've no idea where I stand legally, but I know she would keep it to start with and I would go.
Had a bad night last night. Nothing happened, but I went out as felt it might as I felt the atmosphere was a little tense. Neither of us are sleeping great, so little things seem bigger. Anyway, I couldn't sleep when I got home and things started going around my head. Thankfully my W didn't wake up as I could of had a huge backslide. I was feeling emotional and possibly would have gone into begging and questioning mode, which I know is the wrong thing, but some days I just get terrible anxiety attacks and paranoia and feel I need answers.
I'm so scared for my kids in all this more than anything. They are the innocent ones who will be the most affected and they deserve that their mummy and daddy do everything they can to resolve their issues (IMO). You make commitments when you marry to one another but when you have kids you are making a commitment to them also. They are a product of you love !!
What I really want to do is grab my W, give her the biggest cuddle ever and tell her I'll protect her and the kids forever and everything will be alright.
We did discuss my W birthday early in the evening though and what my son would get her and I said I would get x that she suggested. She also asked that we take her out for lunch on her actual birthday so that was a positive I guess.
Is it generally it will take 1 month for every year of marriage before things get semi good ? or 1 year for every year together ? I am not naturally a patient person, I'm a mr punctual or early so maybe that is why I am finding this super tough.
Anyway, helps to get my feelings out on here. Sure i've missed some but expect a daily update from me as it helps. Need to do weekly steps when I get home tonight.
Arthur, JMO--you're looking ahead a little I think. Things seem to be going good in your sitch. Your questioning about successes and timelines, when things will be back to normal/or better..
This is not a 100 yard dash, this is a marathon, a long one. You and I are a lot alike on that front..We need to have more patience. We expect too much too soon. Keep doing what your doing. Don't push.
