I sent my e-mail to W this morning - I didn't see any reason to rush it to her last night, so I just waited until today. She responded pretty quickly w/:
Quote:
You don't have to keep an eye on D. You need to monitor YOUR behavior, not hers. At least you aren't denying that the things I pointed out in my e-mail are true.
Of course, I didn't respond.
So, I saw my L and we went over the materials I'm going to present to the parenting evaluator. It is going to cost me, but I'm having him pour over the e-mails I gave him so he'll be able to best choose what we should and should not send. I would have "thinned" things out, but honestly, I'd have no idea what to include or cut out. So, I'll pay the hefty price per hour to make sure it is done right.
I went home and cleaned up the clutter a bit and mopped the floors. I also did a really good job of sorting through all the piles and piles and piles of junk in the office and threw away what wasn't needed and filed the rest.
At a littl after 7, I was surprised to see W's phone calling me and D was on the line when I answered. We talked for 10+ minutes and D asked me if she could eat some ice cream. I asked her to tell me what she ate for dinner(which she did) then I said, "If mommy thinks you ate a good dinner, then you can have ice cream." D relayed this to W who said thanked me for having D check w/ her and for chacking on if she had eaten properly before eating sweets. The sad thing is I didn't get it on tape.
D next told me a kid at school said "sh!t" and then asked me to not say anything. I told her we don't say that word b/c it is a bad word and she shouldn't keep secrets. Unfortunately, this too was off tape.
After this, I got a bit smarter and got the recorder. D and I talked for a bit and then she left to eat her ice cream. However, before she did, she told me W was in a car accident last week and had screwed up her back. D then said the car was ok b/c it had gone to the "car dentist" and would be going back again. She also said W was ok. I tried to get W's attention to ask her about it, but was unsuccessful. D then said she'd call back, but I wasn't sure, so I told her goodnight and I loved her.
Sure enough, around 7:45 the little bugger called back. She said she was done w/ her ice cream and wanted me to watch TV w/ her for a bit. W wanted her to talk w/ me and not just have me listen to the TV so she asked me to assert this w/ D. I did and D got upset. W then stepped in and did a good job of comforting D who was crying at this point.
Then W said "This is mommy's fault. This is not daddy's fault. This is mommy's mistake." What? Something isn't my fault here? The best news is I DO HAVE THIS ONE ON TAPE!! Proof I don't cause every catastrophe in the universe!
Anyway, D and I talked for a bit, then she had me talk w/ W. I immediately asked W about the accident and her back and she told me the details. W was very friendly and conversational, so it was nice to talk w/ her again. She started to discuss how she was concerned w/ how she'd load all the drinks for the party in to the car w/ her bad back and I offered to take care of the drinks for the party. She said she'd think about it. She then said how difficult it is b/c she can't take the muscle relaxants that were prescried for her b/c they make her drowsy and "what if D needs me."
I offered to take D this week to allow her to rest as I'd love to see her. W was silent. She didn't say a word. D then asked to get back on the phone and I told W to let me know about taking D this week and the drinks. D and I then talked for a few more minutes.
I think W was considering it but she's really unsure what to do b/c to allow me to help would be difficult for her as she'd have to let her guard down. It would also show I'm not the a-hole she wants me to be. I'm hoping she'll stew on it a while (in a good way), but I'm not expecting to have her let me do anything to assist her. Not now anyway. Maybe down the road, but definitely not now.
When D and I were finishing up, she was so cute. She said I was "handsome. Very, very handsome. You are a little weird, but you are very handsome and I like you a lot." It was so darn adorable. I really miss her.
That was basically it. I LOVED talking w/ my D and I think I DB'd pretty well w/ W. Oh, BTW, I did ask W if I could call at 8 tomorrow b/c I was going to the gym from 7-8 as I cancelled my appointment tonight b/c I was in such a productive cleaning mode. I didn't tell W what I was doing, but she did agree to allowing me to call at 8 tomorrow, and this too is on tape. So, I've got proof, if I unfortunately need it.
Anyway, I think it went well and I always love talking to my D. It was nice to hear my W's voice soften, but I'm realistic to know it probably won't last. We'll see. She hates it when we don't communicate and I'll let you all know if I get anything from her tomorrow.
