I am so sorry your H is being such an *ss. In the pit of my depression I know I was this way with my W, sad to say, and I know she was the same way with me. Please don't do what I did. W would grill me and prod me and push on me for reasons I never understood at the time. In response I would be passively aggressive, become quiet and silent, which made her even more persistent and angry. Finally after her fury had risen to a level that became too much for me to handle, I would blow up and make a huge display.
Karen is right. What we should do when someone acts this way towards us is to not let all this pressure they put on us build up. Instead we should calmly and peacefully tell them that they are crossing a firm boundary you expect them to respect. Let him know in no uncertain terms that you will not tolerate his crossing the boundaries you have set, just as he should expect you to observe his boundaries.
