[quote=christarn]Mike, thanks for stoppin by!! I thought about leaving a message on his truck...but Jodi(db coach) thought i should wait for him to communicate with me, says he has control issues. I was controlling thru the M, so he is trying to be controlling now. She said by me doing the work, he just sits back in the easy chair and relaxes and says "yep, she still wants me!!" and he really doesn't have to do anything, and can decide, when and where and at what speed this all goes. It makes sense. I'm hoping to take a break while at work, and take a walk around campus and he will "accidently" (of course) see me!!! and hopefully things will go from there!"
Christa, I find what you said in this post to be so true. Our spouoses know that they have us and have no need to work on anything in their mind to help the R. We have to let them go and not put any pressure on them for them to come around. This is the same mind set that I am now sticking with.
If you think about it, many of us are on this board because we thought our M's were secure and we had no need to work on it because we never thought we would be in this situation. I for one did not put near as much effort in my M as I thought I had my W and she would never leave. It goes to say, we always want what we can't have.
Keep up with what you are doing, by chance, how long did your coach say you needed to go without making any contact?
