Cagz is really moving ahead Wierd...

[cagzmom]

thanks CAT.

I wierd thing happened today. I was talking with a friend. He is a guy at work- he is in a relationship and very safe-- and we have become friends. He has gone through this - his wife left him for his best friend! They have been divorced for 5 years and she has remarried..to the best friend.

ANYWAY--- he works where I am and is someone of some importnace...anyway he always jokes about me coming to work in his department...we started discussing my job/title and I was telling him it was confusing bla bla bal. ANYWAY -- we were talking and I said "friend" this job has made me want to better me...and you are my friend--- and you know that I deserve to bve more than just an "xyz". I am "worth more" ....anyway the wierd part was this....I am really starting to BELIEVE it....I got kinda teary eyed and said...jeez friend look what you did. He smiled and said you did that all by yourself.....I said..I guess it is time for me to see that I really am worht something...quite wierd after all these years.

My value was stripped by H leaving. Being the wonderful co-dependant woman that I am I had put all my value in him - being his wife, lover - mother to my kids....AND FINALLY I am starting to see that I am kinda important and actually do have some value.... it was wierd.