Wow AG, You had a lot to unload today! My thoughts on some of it:
Quote: I just don't know how to find an R like this - and how to make it work... Sometimes I wonder if I just don't believe that there is someone compatible with my life choices out there.
Do the statistics, there must be at least 10,000 of them! The question is...How to find one of these! As an example, yoga is a good place to start if you are looking for introspective, centered people who are not all about their own ego. Maybe go to classes at a bunch of different centers, at different times, etc.?
Hee hee. I will have to ask to "see" the class before I sign up. Actually I saw yoga listed in some article as a great place for men to meet women. So perhaps I will bump into one of those! LOL!
Quote: Have you seen examples of women that make more than their H's or are in positions of power that are comparable or greater than their H's - where the R has worked...
I have quite a few friends and associates who fit this bill. It is far from impossible, but of course requires that the two are willing to work together to make it happen.
You are right. I need to actually stop thinking about it so much and take it one step at a time if/when Mr. Non-Platonic enters my life.
Quote: I am not sure how and where an LTR fits into one's life. How much are you suppose to "need"? When it is okay and when is it too much.
DB principles work here pretty well. But in my opinion, better is to just focus on enjoying the life and relationships that you have, appreciating them for what they are, not "needing" any of it, but enjoying all of it.
Most of the time I am off being too busy to have time to want an R. Had to add that one to my to do list! LOL! I am a little apprehensive that if/when I do bump into someone - I will view them as water after a 5 years trek in the desert and will lose perspective.
AG, from reading your description of the harrassment from CB, it sounds like this event must have had a strong, if subconsious, impact on you. Do you think that this could have affected your M and/or your desire to pursue another relationship? I know if someone I looked up to treated me this way, I would have real trust issues for a long time thereafter.
CB had a huge impact on me all those years ago. I was new to the workforce and never imagined that something like this could actually happen. Unfortunately, that was a first of many times I have face similar issues - so if I didn't go through it then - I would have had to go through it later. The experience prepared me well for my future.
Fortunately for every loser like CB, there are at least 10 decent men in the workplace. And it is those men that helped me along and helped me through sexual harassment situtations. They also helped me get to where I am today in my career. In the workplace - I am fine.
In my personal life - I feel clueless. The X was a very very bad choice for a H. And M was a very negative experience for me. So I really am not eager to repeat the experience. I had trust issues based on some stuff in my past and unfortunately my M (not D) reinforced the validity of those trust issues. My C is working very hard on getting me to open up again - to the point where if he hears I am interested in someone - he will literally instruct me NOT to push men away and bolt. He actually forbid me to bolt last time! LOL! I have made some progress - but have a ways to go.
And last, but not least...
Originally Posted By: almosthopeful So.......sigh, superdad, will you marry me??? LOL.
It depends...are you good at ego-stroking?
WOW - I flirted by proxy! AH actually was the one that proposed. I need her to be my Cyrano de Bergerac.
Now onto the art of ego-stroking - that is dating 101 right? AH help? How do I do that? LOL!!!
SD
Edited by SuperDad (Yesterday at 08:23 PM) _________________________ Me 40 W 40 Kids: S8 S7 Married 15 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
