Thanks Michelle. You're right. Even though I certainly could have handled things differently (and intend to if there is a next time with anyone), she was very unwilling to "work" on the relationship from the beginning. Every time there was a problem, she "broke up" with me.
I realize now how wrong that was. She was never committed and that is so important and so opposite of me. I would have stuck by her through just about anything. She was always ready to throw in the towel - possibly because of her religious issues and possibly because maybe she didn't love me like I loved her. She told me she didn't at the end. I guess I need to believe what she said. It's just so unfair. I know life (and love) ain't fair.
I am trying to forgive myself. It's very hard to do.
I'm doing fine. I go for several hours now without even thinking of her. It used to be several minutes about a year ago. It's just a roller coaster, especially with my perimenopause-induced mood swings. I have really good days (and hours) and then I have not-so-good days (and hours).
Thanks again. Maybe I'll meet someone new soon. I think that's the only way I'm going to give her up completely.
