feeling pretty good today. didn't call or email h all day and have no desire to. I'm to see him tomorrow for a parent/teacher conference and a pray I db and stay strong. It's actually a relief not having him here in a way because I don't have to deal with him sneaking off to make phone calls to ow, etc.
Had a great therapy session also. I went through a depression/anxiety phase last fall and h was totally NOT THERE for me at all. i was so hurt and angry and felt so alone. my therapist asked if this is what i really want in a partner. I want my marriage back, I do, but I want ME back and I lost her some time ago. I'm beginning to GAL (going back to school!) and I'm proud of how I'm taking care of D5 alone during the week. I'm "showing up" and doing a good job. I never thought I could do that. I have also shored up more work for myself.
I'm feeling less of a "Need" for h and more of a "want, if I choose". Big difference.
