Mishka's- new thread/new tude - H who?

[mishka422]

I have come to a place of peace and release and thought I should start a new thread to reflect that.

I am at the point of letting go of my H and knowing that he will need to do whatever he needs to do for himself and I must do the same. I can't hold on to the hurt any longer and I should only look back at all the wonderful times we had together and be grateful for them.

I was so stuck in feeling sorry for myself and angry at him for his A and continued unapologetic stance that I lost sight of the blessings in my life. I had actually decided that the last 18 years of my life were one HUGE mistake but if that were the case then I wouldn't have my wonderful son. God doesn't make mistakes, people do, and children are always a gift from God no matter what.

I am often sad and lonely but I can get out of that pretty quickly now through prayer and the support of my close friends and family.

H hasn't mentioned the D since the last time I brought it up with him to ask him if he re-filed. As far as I know he still hasn't. I won't help him divorce me. If that's what he wants, he will have to do the work for it and I won't fight him on it either. I will get what I need from him for our son and that is all. I am letting him go. If he returns to me he will have to have made some significant changes and I don't see that in his near future.


I know that I am changing for the better and that is all that matters to me. I feel like I have some control over the outcome of my future regardless of what happens to my M.

I want to go back to school and change careers. I'm having a hard time figuring out the best way to do that but I'm working on it. Time is a huge obstacle with my son and my sick mother to take care of. I'll find a way to juggle.

I'm not saying I'm done with my M. I'm just done being devastated by the state of things.