I truly appreciate what you are saying. I needed to hear it, very much.
On where God comes into play in this, however, I think this might be one solitary instance where you and I might stand apart philosophically. No, God has not abdicated His power, might or wisdom, but He did grant us free will. I am convinced that is something he will never abrogate, even to save our very souls. He will make every effort to give us the opportunity to choose the correct path in life, but He will never force us to go against our wills, wrong as they might be. God does have the power, but He will not use it, not in this one way.
So, we have to choose for ourselves, each one of us. My W has made choices no other being, not even God, can make for her. She will continue to do so until she decides to choose otherwise. We can try to influence her, just as the Enemy is trying to influence her, but in the end, it is up to her.
I cannot count on W ever changing her mind, not about me. In fact, were she ever to renew her walk with God, renounce her adultery and cast her OM aside, I should have no reasonable expectation she will ever feel positive (or even neutral) towards me ever again. In fact, knowing her, she would likely take her remorse at what she has done and turn around and blame me for "allowing" her to do it to herself. She could very easily rationalize that I am still "evil" simply for not loving her enough to prevent her from straying.
I know one shouldn't try to interpret or predict what the WAS is or will be thinking, but I can easily see W doing just that. She already thinks she is right with God, even given her active A and her destruction of her children's family.
I can hope. I can pray. But I cannot expect miracles where human frailty is in full control.
Still, as a follower of Christ, I must continue to do what I am called to do, regardless. I must become a peace-maker, not an appeaser, and model for my S's the correct spiritual peace through both steadfast love and humility. It's not an easy thing for someone of my nature. But for my Lord and for my boys, I will do whatever I must. That's the song I will dance to.
