I would appreciate that if your willing to send me the info from men are from mars.
Well here is what I have written allready, it is a compilation of the suggested letters from the book "love must be tough" and my own thoughts and feelings:
Husband, It is incredible just how foolish i have been since you have decided to leave me. I have tolerated your unfaithfulness for over a year and was even so naive as to allow you to come back to me twice. I cant believe now that I allowed it with open arms. I guess that I just loved you so much that I was willing to do anything and overlook your sins just to keep you from ending our Marriage. Those days of shock, and panic, and fear are over for me now. If you want a divorce, I most certainly will not stand in your way. In fact, it may be for the best. I doubt that I could ever trust you again or feel for you as I once did. I wasnt a perfect wife, to be sure, but I have not entangled myself into any emotional or physical affairs since I pledged my love for you before God and our families and friends. But you have violated my trust - not once, but repeatedly for too long. I'm no longer special to you - I am just one in a crowd amongst thousands of beautiful women. I cant live with that. I would rather face life alone than as a member of your harem. If a stripper or some random girl at the bar is the one you want, I hope the two of you will be happy together. I'm still not sure how something so wonderful became so dirty and distorted, but that is between you and the Lord. We both have to answer to him in our own way and my concious is clear. So where do we go from here? It just wont work for you to be yo-yo-ing between me and binging and flirting at the bars and strip clubs. You have said before that you are confused and arent sure what you want. Well, that isnt very inspiring to me. You pledged eternal love and commitment to me on our wedding day, but now that could be gone with a toss of a coin. If in the future you decide that you want to be my Husband, then we'll talk about it. I make no promises, however. I'm doing everything possible to remove you from my heart, to spare myself anymore pain. It's not going to be easy. You were my only love - the only one I ever wanted. But that was then and this is now. God bless you, H. The dog and cats and I will all miss you. Wife
O.K., let me know what you all think of this letter. I especially would like advise as to when I should send it, or if I should send it at all. Dobsons book suggests that I make sure the timing is right and also to possibly wait for or to create a small instance in which it is most appropriate.
I am thinking that the next time we have face to face contact, or the next time he brings up our possible D - I should convey these thoughts to him either verbally or by handing him the letter and leaving, or by saying very little in response to him and afterwards send it in the mail.
I fear that this is opposite of the DBing principle of waiting patiently and avoiding any R talks. But it still follows other DBing principles such as making a 180 and setting boundaries with love. I will appreciate any and all advise. Tipper
