Yes h4h, spirituality gives you that extra boost, I saw it in other people I know. It boosts your inner strength, I'll try to revive that part of me, I definitely need it. Right now, the only thing that gives me strength and peace of mind is thinking that she is not worth it, that she is a selfish lier, mentally unstable, morally worthless, and I don't want her anymore. I understand it is also my pride that I try to protect, but it is the only way I can see now to stop the desperation and start to function again as a person - I need to be productive and active. Since I switched my focus and my thinking my mood improved, but I do understand that I am throwing the towel. My family, my kids, are the most important thing in the world, I am so sorry for them. My parents are divorced, and I promised I would not let my kids go through what I went trough, but I guess I couldn't make this promise by myself. I'll keep a door open for W, just because I think is right and my kids deserve this commitment from me, but from now on I'll plan my life without her, she is gone, and that is that.
