Time to turn it around

[Nutty Chick]

Dar.


If someone called me a green alien … or fat, it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest because I ‘know’ I am not a green alien and if anything I am underweight.

However.

What I have noticed about myself is that is someone tells me something that there ‘may’ be a grain of truth in … It stings like hell.

My H is a compulsive gambler. One of the most hurtful things he said is that *I* caused him to gamble. I ranted and raved when I heard this trying to prove my point – How could I be to blame for what he was doing …??

Then one day, when I wasn’t even thinking about it, it dawned on me that I did have to accept some of the responsibility for his gambling. It was partly my fault.

I had:

Turned a blind eye to his gambling.
Loaned him money to pay off debts.
Loaned him money to go to the bar (where I knew he gambled)
Covered bills he should have paid with my savings.

I am partly responsible for enabling him.

The point I am making is that it hurt so much because there was some truth there that I didn’t want to admit.


I have no idea what ‘names’ have offended you. I have no idea if there is truth in them or not. What I do know is that people are not here to hurt anyone. I have read hundreds of posts and each one is written with care by people who care. If I were lucky enough to have the response and advice on my thread that you have on yours I would be humbled and feel blessed.

If people made comments that hurt I would explore them to find out why they hurt. I am always grateful for an opportunity to learn about how people perceive me. I am always grateful for an opportunity to grow,

Nutty.