God believes I'm worth it...

[cat03]

Christians
by Maya Angelou


"A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ
that a man should have to seek Him first to find her."

When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'"
I'm whispering "I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian" I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible but, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian" I still feel the sting of pain..
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!

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By God's grace I've reached another level of comprehension, one in which I dont' wish stbx's life to be hard just so he can see how good he had it with me (he had it good in my eyes, it prob wasnt' that great for him since he decided to leave). I have decided to wave good bye and wish him the best, because, he had some great qualities, and it'd be a shame if he never found himself. The children still need him, and it wouldn't make me happy to see him in the gutters just because he decided not to be with me.

For some strange reason he's not so gunho about finishing the SA, the cancer scare prob put some fear in him, who knows, we agreed about talking about the last issue (stupid shed) next week.

Over all, I'm great, emotionally, though having a bit of a hard time with s9, i'm loosing patience too fast and now that I'm getting used to be alone having those 2 kids fights gets to me (who would've thunk!) I know I have to be smart when dealing with him and yelling isnt' the way, specially with him, he is a very sensitive shy boy.

The plumbing is falling apart at home, bathroom sinks yet to be fixed by my brother on Sunday, both toilet bowls keeps filling themselves without ceasing, and this morn I find out there is no hot water. At least I got a plumber to fix the leak in the basement, which has gotten to the bathroom and now there is mold there, *grooooan*.

Such is life, this wont be the first not last time lots of things will break so I better get used to it, I count myself lucky to even have a home, I see so many foreclosed homes in my area it isnt' even funny anymore, one nice corner townhome had the fence broken in pieces and the windows smashed, bet one desperate homeowner didnt' want to go down quietly.