After 3 long years, H is home

[GoingForward]

Thanks so much! You're all such wonderful ladies!

It makes it a lot easier to do things for other people when they are appreciative!

YES it does! However for me, it's not so much that he says he appreciates it all. It's more that he shows it by mellowing out a LOT (he's less irritable ever since I asked him if we could focus on one change at a time vs. every single one all at once) and touches me (hugs, little rubs, cuddling). Yep, one of my LLs is PT.

Haven't got a clue what gatorade is but hey!

Wow, I guess we do learn something new everyday!

It's a thirst quenching beverage loaded with extras, like electrolytes and I think carbs. Ever heard of Powerade??? It's the same thing.

Now GF what has your H done to show YOU that he is listening to your needs and desires. It's great that he appreciates the 'changes' you made for him but don't let it be one-sided.

You're absolutely right, ACJ, and I haven't forgotten this. I've thought about it on several occasions since he's been back.

He's already showing me that he's listening by not harping on me anymore that things aren't changing fast enough for him or to his liking. That's a BIG improvement, and it should stick as long as I continue to fulfill his needs by keeping things "neatly" organized throughout the house as well as making sure there's always an abundance of Gatorade in the fridge! There are many other little things to keep on top of, too.

It's the little things I do for H that count the most. They score the biggest points for me.

The physical closeness is good, too, but what is MOST important to me is QT. Not so much watching a movie or sports together, playing outside with the kids, or talking about our days.

I'm a SAHM who does very limited part-time work. I don't get out very much other than once a week, and that's only if I have a sitter for the kids.

At least once or twice a month, I want time away from the house and from the boys with just my H, and no one else.

H's schedule constantly changes, so many times, it's hard to plan things, and lots of times, his days off are during the week, so finding a sitter for the boys is a bit of a challenge, too, since they have school and everyone we trust to watch them works.

Sometimes when he actually is off on the weekend, he gets called from work and is offered overtime.....Very difficult to say no to that kind of money. It's like 60 bucks an hour and sometimes even more than that depending on how many hours he's already worked that week (there's overtime, double-time, and double overtime pay!). On several occasions, he earned $700 for one day of work! Great for us financially, but detrimental to the R. He knows it, too, but I suppose he struggles with this as well. He says he knows he needs to spend more time with me alone, but he also has this strong need to successfully, financially provide for his family. He's the breadwinner, so many times I feel as though what he says goes.

To an extent.

Hope you ladies have a wonderful day as well!