I think you're right. You need to trust your gut on that one, I was just afraid he'd run back to his safe spot that he goes to in the light of day. Acknowleging awareness and work is great! I just didn't want you to put so much emphasis on a big R talk right away.
As MANY others here have written, it's not at all uncommon for the S to take a very long time to acknowlege loving feelings and words. I really do not believe it is because the feelings aren't there or can't be rediscovered. Keeping that in mind makes it easier. Don't believe he doesn't love you. I never did.
When my H first decided to "at least give us a fair try without a country between us" he said he wasn't sure he could be in love with me again. It's hard to even go back to that moment, believe me, we know. I told him, "I know honey, and I want you happy. We still will have the choice to build separate lives if you feel that way once we gave it our best chance."
He now actually finds ways to make sure to I hear, loud and clear, that he's NEVER stopped loving me in 21 years. I've decided that it'd be pretty stupid to argue this point.
I learned.
Seriously, if you act, the feeling follows. A lot of xWAS are still looking for that high they got with new <cough> luv that they experienced with the skank/ahem, OP. They gotta go through the pain to get over it.
Anyhow, what a long way I have of saying that if you can find a way to communicate that doesn't send him back, GREAT. That is what you want. Just have to find the approach that works with him. Physical touch. Can ya just play with this a bit at night and get things to laughter? You have a sense of humor. It even comes our through your tears.
What kind of actions/words are you looking for in order to feel a more emotional connection?
You did well when he came home last night. You can do this Ingrid.
