D was really asking last night, I had mentioned in a previous post that she said daddy lived with a friend now. I couldn't get her to go to sleep and finally when it was time for me to go to bed she asked to come in with me. Up until this point she asked the occasional is daddy going to be here for supper. After we are in bed she says,"mommy are you upset with daddy" I said why? She said because he lives with Sarah now. I almost choked I had never heard her say that name before and I do not really know if H is there or not he says he is staying at his friend Sean's house. I said why do you think he is staying at Sarahs? She said she heard him and I saying her name before he left on Sunday and then he went for a sleepover and he goes on a sleepover every night. Then she says I am upset with daddy because I want him to be here. So I asked, isn;t it nicer that daddy isn;t yelling anymore? That no one is fighting? No, I want him here. Then poor little peanut says - I didn;t tell any of my friends at school mommy that daddy doesn't live here anymore.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
I know this is horrible, and I'm sorry that you and especially that little girl are going thru this. I would simply love her (as you are) and tell her "Daddy's confused right now about what he wants, and I miss him too, but this is not our fault" (or some other age-appropriate thing).
Sorry Puppy, it is hard. I want to draw the line and make H miss us but not at her expense either, like the idea of him coming to GWL with us. If he shows. I woke up in the middle of the night because she was crying in her sleep saying "I want dad"
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
I'm so sorry, Neecy. I think this is the toughest thing to endure - when our children learn that Mom/Dad isn't going to be home every night like before. They've innocently lost their sense of normalcy, their security.
(((((((Thinking of you and D)))))))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
So if H shows up at Great Wolf Lodge tonight as he said he would. What should my plan of action be? I know to have as much fun with d as possible, for her sake and mine. but do I act friendly to H, "as if" or do I act distant but polite, no R talk, that is for me as well I want to have a nice time.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
So if H shows up at Great Wolf Lodge tonight as he said he would. What should my plan of action be? I know to have as much fun with d as possible, for her sake and mine. but do I act friendly to H, "as if" or do I act distant but polite, no R talk, that is for me as well I want to have a nice time.
My vote would be to focus mostly on your d, but be polite & mildly friendly to your H and no R talk. That's what I am trying for anyway, although it is easier said than done!!! Karen
Hey there, I am back home now, D is exhuausted, fell asleep in the car and is napping.
I did a poor job GALing and DBing. H started early in the afternoon with I hope I can make it up there tonight, gas tank is empty, I'll find a way and I'll go but- no money(he still has a full week till getting any more $ - I ignored that so for at least that I am proud, other than that I sucked. I had a spa treatment prior to going and came out to a text from him saying he couldn;t go didn't even have enough gas to get to work. ***Bad DBing starts here**** I called and said meet me outside seans(where he is claiming to stay but in question) so you can give D a kiss she hasn't seen you in 3 days. So he says I'll meet you at home instead, so I thought this was my clue he is not at seans. I said I am already in the car ill come there - well I'm not there. He was in the parking lot accross the street from my house. He came over gave D a kiss and I started to cry, said I told you the things she said yeaterday and you are pulling out? So he got upset I was crying - go and have a good time. I thought bastard I was going to have a good time, you invited yourself, I agreed for d's sake and then you pull out at the 11th hour(this is all in my head).
Then I get lost on the way there he calls while I am lost (actually a godsent) yells at me for being lost but then tells me the right way to go. D fell asleep on the way we got there in time for story time, and then chips and dip in front of the tv then bed. Today we went down to breakfast and immediately I was hit with sadness at the fact everyone else there was a family. It was a buffet and that was weird in itself because someone usually would go up with d then sit with her while the other person goes up ect. I had a hard time not crying - ok well I did a little during breakfast. Then we go down to the waterpark an dhad a decent time, still trying not to but noticing all these dads palying with their kids. D has to go to the bathroom, while she is in there that damn "Bubbly" song came on I was trapped in there listening to the whole thing, and I actually started shaking(well I was cold too but this was more). That song reminds me that I am not special, that this person had a song with my husband - THen it was all I could think about how my focus is on making sure the A is over and H coming home but that I am not sure any of that would matter because it would require so much effort on his part to ever make me feel special or safe again and how can he do that if he doesn't even know if he wants to live here?
D did have a great time and got a new Webkinz which seems to be the most important part to her.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
Karen