There is only one person working here and it can notgo on forever. My Psyc said it is unhealth mentally to continue to put in an effort and get no response. If a women in NJ wants a D she gets one. It is that simple. I am sure her actions are some kind of revenge but what can i do for this? I am going somewhat dark and just staying out of her angry way. That is best for all involved.
Her family is now involved, and not all things are done for revenge. Sometimes self preservation plays a part.
Same rules apply here in FL. You want a divorce, you got it.
Remember how much you said you liked your MIL. Keep that in mind, keep that letter in mind and use it towards your advantage. You've got an inside look.......something I wish I'd of had.
Take your new found knowledge, continue with the positive changes BT, show her with actions that you mean business.
Do not let that letter get you down.
Let it bring you up to a higher level.
Hugs,
Jeanette
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
But she is not working on our marriage is what i mean. The team she has is only working against me because of the lies she has told about me and my actions.
It is a good omen to have that note, very insightful and I am using it very much to my advantage. I am sure they know i have seen it for i am sure they read my blog. So what. At least what i write is all very true and not a bunch of BS.
Detach from worrying/thinking about what they think about you. Your task is to do what is necessary to take care of yourself. Your W has made her decision,for her own reasons. It's her reality; it's how she perceives the situation and she will do what she's going to to do. You don't like that, but the sad reality is that there's probably nothing you can do to change it. Accept the present moment and keep working on yourself. Resist the urge to be mean spirited, spiteful, or vengeful. Come through this a stronger, wiser person about your failures in the past and a resolution to think, be, and do different in the future. Measure your progress not by where you were in the past, but where you are headed now. It hurts so much, I know. Keep moving forward one step, even a small step, at a time as best you can by relying on your inner strength and the support of others.
Things are getting really messed up now. S12 would not get out of bed this morning so W tried to drag him out by his nose, ears and cheek. He said she kicked him in the nuts. There was blood inside his nose. He is really upset and says he hates his Mom.
Sorry it's been awhile since I stopped in on your thread. Just been catching up on this. Wow, sounds like things have been escalating here. If she is being physically abusive to your s12, I can only imagine what a difficult situation that puts you in. But if this is behavior that continues, I invite you to seriously consider contacting child welfare about this or taking steps to get the kids safe. That kind of behavior is no longer about MLC, it is about a drinking problem and abusive behavior. It's unacceptable and, if what your S12 is saying is true, it is child abuse.
This is a really tough situation, Tree. Only take the parts of what people are posting that work for you. This is my humble 2c worth.
Yup it is quite a mess. She has done this before and denied it. I have a recordering of a discussion between us where my son says she beat him and she said she did not. He does not want anything to do with her and had to sleep in my bed last night for he was afraid. My S12 is such a wonderful kid. 1 in a million, great athele and very good in school. All of this is starting to slip. What a shame.
But she is not working on our marriage is what i mean. .
BT That is totally up to her. Her choice, you can't control her. I would also go so far as to say you should not be working on your marriage either. You should be working on YOU.
By the sounds of it your son needs you desperately right now, if his mother is physically abusing him; protecting and supporting him should be your priority.
Forget your W for now, concentrate on your own mental health and the safely and security of you son.
Bits of paper with words on mean nothing.
Nutty
Be The Greener Grass.
Me 40 H 42 Son 11 Married 15 years. Left May 2006 after gambling spree I had EA August 2006 OW Aug 07 after another gambling spree (she will make me happy - stop me gambling!) I filed for divorce 9th April 2008.
I have pretty much stopped working on my marriage. My kids are number one. I take very good care of me. I don't drink, smoke, cheat and all of my extra time is spent with my kids. I am creating tremendous space between her and I. I have a tremendous support group that only gets the truth about my situation. Someone just asked me why she was so angry and below is my answer:
Where is all of her anger coming from? Just your situation? Nothing else going on in her life right now?
Anger: It is part of her personality. She is always angry. What is escalating the anger? It could be many things:
1) Her decision and her knowing it is wrong because of the advice she is getting is skewed
2) She has made a decision to ripe apart our family and now has to live with it.
3) The kids hate her and want nothing to do with her. (take a f---ing hint)
4) I am standing in the way of her being fun Sally.
5) I am standing in the way of her dating OM?
6) I am way more stable through this whole thing then she is.
7) My kids love my ass.
8) Her VERY comfortable life is going to change very soon, very much.
9) She still loves me but has started this process and will not turn back because it will make her the fool and make her the liar.
