I cannot agree more with what Strong has written to you. My wife had an affair too, and I had to learn to do all of the things that he describes, and trust me, they did NOT come naturally to me! I, too, was a "nice guy," but through my self-growth my wife did leave her affair and come back to our marriage.
Of the advice you've been given so far, based on my own experience I would have to STRONGLY recommend that you listen to NOP and to Strong and consider what they've told you.
As hard as the infidelity hurts (and I've been there -- I know it does!), you've actually been given a golden opportunity here.
