Can I post here ?

[thegoodfight]

I have to concur with Puppy. I know it is tough, but I will say it again, she has a minivan worth of baggage. Until she commits to cleaning up the booze and spends some time working through the vast array of emotinal issues, I would have to say Hasta LaVista Baby. At least for a while! She is a mess and way too much drama for a 2 year relationship.

I know it means alot to you and I don't mean to minimize it but gosh darn, until she gets some help it isn't going to get any better. Spare yourself the pain down the road.

[Mark1965]

Good Morning All,

Just dropping bye to say Hi..At this point - I am so secure and with new drive..

See Monday - I got sick from the Sunday explosion (verbally towards G/F)- All my deep seated and the root issues came out- I got sick thinking about what she would react or do with all thought's..But just like when you feel you need to throw-up - you feel miserable- But once you throw-up - Gone - feel better and in this case..

We were able to disclose everything -reach understanding - explain the why's- she was able to provide information of the way's and what lead to- Things to do list between us both - It is wonderful - I sought the advise of my buddy G/F-She explained my G/F in a way - that I will forever be grateful..

Also still following the David Cunningham book as mentioned in a earlier post- Man - What a difference- She is responding - text book --

So we are working the issues-She has become so committed to working on (R)-Sincere and Loving towards me..Even wearing my -What I call little things that -Lets me know- She is committed - I call them LOVE IDENTIFIERS.. She is even wearing and doing all things - including playful fun attraction glances towards me...

I have always said-

HUMANS ARE LIKE ONIONS-
YOU MUST TAKE A FEW LAYERS OFF TO GET TO THE SWEET SPOT!!!


Mark

[Mark1965]

Also I will order other thing - JUS FRIENDS- It is really a true benefit..

See while reading everyone's posting here and following most of the advise given - Seems to be leading me into direction - Of a most fruit loving and strong bonding (R) that I could ever dream off.. She also seems so willing--

If I see something recommended -I follow that link - If it fits wear it-If not nothing ventured - nothing gained..

m2w

Mark

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Whatever. If it works for you.

[Mark1965]

Hello All,

Even better NEWS !!!

WORKING THROUGH ISSUE'S..
Gave her copy of Guide to Great Marriages and Relationships..She also has been reviewing that and another book "JUS FRIENDS" with me.. It has been so text book response's from her..

Passion is coming to me from G/F in every way- holding hands, free-will just to kiss me..Evening fun is great also with more fun than -I even have EVER experienced to me or from her to me.. WOW..!! I ASKED HER - Where has this WILD WOMAN come from??

She advises me of(OW) when he calls and text's..So upset that he won't stop (harassing her)..She even woke up this morning - Screaming about he will not leave her alone..That she is sick of it.. He is begging and crying and get this crap:
(HE NEEDS TO TALK TO HER PERSONALLY)
G/F is turning off her phone and getting new #..
She has sent him a GAL letter and GAL text..
She said - If he calls her job or continue's to attempt to contact her-She even said-
I AM SO DONE -I even will go to his wife- I don't want anything to do with him.. I tried to be a friend -He wants more of something he can't have......

When she was crying telling me everything to CLEAR THE AIR AND REBUILD TRUST: She is from the country life- Never heard of (E/A) has reviewed with me what it is and how it occurs and simply she broke down ..

She thought that affairs were only Sexual in nature..

We received our newest book : "Jus Friends"...
She thought that affairs were only Sexual in nature..


She said it was like to script to what has been happening -How could I ever forgive her and what could she do to ensure OUR SUCCESS...

Get this :He had texted her 5 times after, she told told him - She and I were riding horses and grilling out at my lake with her and my family..She has now come to me for help in getting rid of him and advise on how too..

She has admitted that -Everything I ever told her about (OM) She clearly sees..How could she have been so blind? He must be unhappy in his(M)and attempting to ruin her world with me.. Divide to conquer..I told her, I Love her and am standing by for her.. Confirmed with her thoughts that-Yes (OM) never had good intentions and any attention given to him by my G/F was a signal of interest from her towards him.. It was so funny to watch her wheels clicking in her mind and facial expression and then turn for concern..
He had the nerve to stalk us at my own Pro Rodeo were I am the Producer.. We had 12,000 people this weekend - He clearly knows - He can't stand him.. She has told him this in front of me.. Little [censored] still walked up to us at the Saturday Night performance.. Shocked us both - But we were polite and she promptly blew him off.. So he left her a message - Saying - He was sitting just next to us- (a lie) and told G/F -I even shook his hand and said Hello (another lie) and He was walking by here

I AM SKIPPING AROUND - SO - YEPPIE YI A -Dude..

Work still in progress - We are building a stronger bond ..

THANKS (OM) - His name is Ron or RONALD..

Am kinda worried about his stalking us though- He is (her words - such a lier and sneak) he may try to do harm to us..

Between all of us : How much did she really tell him ??
My thought - WHO CARES ....

LMAO .. '

Thought's anybody- Pitfalls ??

Mark

[thegoodfight]

Other than she may have a wacko stalker following you or her around, none. Great Job, I wish you both all the happiness in the world. One last thing, see if she is willing to file a restraining order against him, which would be served at his house. You probably should file one as well just in case.

Post how that goes..Good luck.

[Mark1965]

TheGoodFight:

Thanks - I have really stuck through this and will continue to do so - It is GREAT she is telling me everything..

Funny - She has been calling me - Just like the old times sense my last post. She has already asked - What did I think of a restraining order- I thought -Well - Are you ready for whatever it takes? She claimed - YES !! -I said - Then lets take a peaceful approach 1st-Sit back and watch and if it continues - Police and restraining order...

See my thinking is based :
I know the pain 1st hand-

Difference between ALL OF US and most (OM and OW):
They don't rely upon people (all of us here) whom understand PAIN and REJECTION.
They (OM/OW) do not look solutions to improve our-selfs 1st -By way of information and reference books..

THEREFORE:
We can and all for the most part should prevail..

See gang - Everything I would see a Book mentioned here -I would copy and paste to google and go look it up -To see if it could work??

Knowledge is Power =
Knowledge and Power =
I can speak with authority
We are a people whom achieves success by overcoming ones fear of a failure..

Why use the OVEN ?
When the microwave makes more since??

Mark

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Mark,

I'm glad things seem to be going better for you. You asked if any of us saw any possible pitfalls.

First, your own attitude is SO all over the map, from euphoric to depressed, that I would caution you to try to maintain a more "even keel" approaching when working with a recently-wayward partner. I KNOW it is hard to not "hear what we want to hear," but, emotionally, you can really set yourself up for a fall when you operate that way. The reality of any situation is rarely as good -- or as bad -- as we think it is.

Secondly, I would caution you to not rescue your girlfriend. From your past posts, she strikes me as a bit of a "princess," and you've seemingly encouraged that trait in her. I think she may be looking for you to rescue her from the mess she has created.

I speak from experience here -- my wife did the EXACT same thing! She's been carrying on her affair for three months, despite my firm boundaries, and I actually had to finally file for divorce. She lied to me, our adult daughters -- even her own parents about it. I tried to tell her what a creep the other guy was (only two or three times, in serious, make-no-mistake talks, as it's generally NOT a good idea to "run down" the OM/OW, as the wayward spouse will then only defend them). Then she comes to me in tears one night, saying he's sending her "nasty" text messages and voicemails, and what should she do?

She clearly wanted me to rescue her, even going so far as to sob "Hold me!" I resisted, and said "This is your mess -- you clean it up." and "Call the cops if he keeps harrassing you."

Don't get me wrong, later I was more sympathetic and we had our cries and our hugs and our prayers of apology to each other, but in this early stage of ending an affair, it's important for you to NOT rescue the one who's been wayward.

"This is your mess; you clean it up."

Those would be my warnings to you, based on my reading of your sitch and on my own experience of what worked (and what I failed miserably at!).

Good luck,

Puppy

[Mark1965]

Puppy,

Wow- Alot to digest- But your words seem to come from the Knowledge and Authority wisdom and This is why we are here for each-other..

Where as I have never been this way or in a spot like this before.I am and do recognize that-I am truly Thankful for EVERYONE'S thoughts and experiences.. I simply don't have any of this experience.You all do ..

[Mark1965]

Good Morning All,

Wow- What a great afternoon and Evening - We feed the horses together and chatted about the day ..Just straight good talking.. She said she feels closer to me than ever and the look in her eyes were one that - is so sincere and willfully submitting to my love all that I have to offer to her..

We went to my Roses and clipped a budding rose mid-bloom rose, full bloom rose- Stating to her my feelings for her-

Beginning BUD- That is where our relationship started
Mid-Bloom Rose - That is where our relationship is currently
Full Bloom Rose- That is where I would like our relationship to go too..

G/F asked me to go to Dairy Queen and share a banana Split and go to Walmart and just walk around..

Thoughts..