It all depends on the choices people make. I was taking exception where it said "many S's in this situation marry down". There are those that make decisions, fully cognizant of their decision and could care less. If we are talking MLC, and our loved ones really fall into that "diagnosis", are they really "bad" or "damaged"?
Using words like many, most, almost all, or anything similar to group people has a tendency to overemphasize or mischaracterize people. Some people are bad but to say many are marrying down can be translated as saying that most of our spouses are "bad" people. I agree they are making bad choices or decisions but I would not say they are bad people. In some cases, their judgment may be impaired.
Some of my friends on this board and some who are posting in this thread have reasons to feel that their spouses are bad, not just bad at making decisions or selfish choices, but people that have little morals or ethics and maybe never did.
Unfortunately, after going through what we have experienced, it is challenging not to become "damaged" ourselves.
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
I'm going to elbow my way in here with my 2 cents.
I am of the mind that we all start out on a level playing field, but somewhere along the way bad people, MLC'rs, whatever, all have been damaged. So yes my Sweet friend figgy there are Bad people but some damage must have occurred somewhere along their path.
we need to make sure the damage that those people have caused don't make us DAMAGED!!!
i chose to think work in progress
I think there are instances where we have perhaps married down but this was due to our own self-esteem issues
I certainly married down the 1st time (2nd with LSS was a whole different ballgame) but the 1st Mr ex was a high school drop out who had no ambitions, lied, stole and beat the crap out of me
bad person definitely beneath me and pretty much anything else that breathed
not rewriting history it was that way from the beginning
he was/is a bad person
he could change but he would have to chose to change he was good with who he was
yuck
jeanette are cats and dogs living as friends??? Quick...we need to disagree before the world tilts on its axis
