Firstly, she doesn't have to collect her things from OM - she can arrange to have it shipped. If she has ANY contact with him it is going to be harder to let go. If needs be YOU could go and get the stuff. She says she is 100% committed but she doesn't act like it.
Have you thought about having a word with the OM? Does he know the true state of play between you and your W?
Australia is a long way away, to me it feels to far if you are fighting for this M. Going on holidays etc isn't real life - your W is just oscillating and this is causing you much hurt. Do what will make you feel more comfortable. Don't get mad or angry as that will just make her think you haven't really changed, but do what is the best course of action for you. If you are meant to be together she will come back and follow you wherever you end up.
If my memory serves me right she hasn't told her family in England what is going on because she is ashamed - that indicates to me she knows it's wrong. Maybe it is time you went public with her behaviour.
I am so sorry she is doing this to you.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
