The cry of a thousand impatient kids in the back seat. mm are you one of them right now???
I dont know about the LRT in your sitch as it is . I would be rewarding good behaviour and ignoring the bad , not responding.
There have been some good things in your sitch and to respond with the LRT may just undo a lot of good. At least take 48hrs to think it over.
Have you had any DB coaching? , I know it is $$ but it may be a wise investment if you are lost in the way ahead. I am considering the option but being 1/2 a world away makes it a bit more difficult.
She has told me before, that less pursuing is good.
Just like the book says.
In fact, this past weekend we talked about the previous weekend, when we were in Seattle. She said "why is it that nothing happened then? Why didn't sparks fly between us?"
I said, "What would you have done if I had made a sexual move on you?"
"Probably would have stopped you" she said.
"How about if I said I love you?"
"Oh that would make me head for the hills," she laughed.
"What if I wanted to cuddle or hug?"
"I would probably have felt a bit smothered" she said.
Also, we drank a toast to "no expectations" on our first day there.
So, I guess we know why there were no sparks flying.
As you can see, she doesn't have a clear thought process here! I had to explain all of this to her! And she is a VERY intelligent woman.
Mink, I would just carry on with life and enjoy as best you can. She's confused and it's maddening. I've read others on the Piecing threads who find this pushing forward then pulling back thing crazy making! It's much more straight forward when she hates ya isn't it I dunno about going dark but I do know if you put more into this than her it does become pursuing and pushes them away. It's such a helpless feeling isn't it. So do what makes Minkerman feel good right now but let her be for a bit.
You're apprehensive because you don't know what's going on, you don't have a lot of control right now and there's no clear path.
I still think your idea of pulling back lovingly is a good one. Give her some space, give yourself some control. Don't be rash and don't be mean.
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
I dunno about going dark but I do know if you put more into this than her it does become pursuing and pushes them away. It's such a helpless feeling isn't it. So do what makes Minkerman feel good right now but let her be for a bit.