Minkerman: Coasting into an uncertain future

[minkerman]

It's toatally feasible, CW. In fact you can take a car ferry from downtown Seattle to downtown Victoria.

Oh, and yes, Edm is 2 hours driving time north of Calgary.

[cw68]

Very cool. The car ferry to Bainbridge (where I have more good friends!) was fun, going to Victoria would be fun too.

Darn thing, though, is I might actually have to work this summer. hehehe. Actually, I don't have to work (at least yet), but I think I'm going to get a summer job. Sure puts the kibosh on vacations, though I am going to NYC at the end of June for a sisters' trip.

[minkerman]

Don't remind me of vacations. W has 4 weeks and I have 3 weeks.

We haven't even broached the subject yet.

I would love to do a week in Napa or Sonoma, and I think she might.....might just go for it.

3 days in Seattle VS 5-7 days in Napa....we could pull it off. After all, we're still friends!

[cw68]

Let me know if you are, I've got some great suggestions since wine tasting is actually one of the things my H and I have always done and we've spent plenty of days in Napa and Sonoma. We're not Calfornia winos, since we both grew up in the Midwest, but wine tasting's fun and something we were able to do with the kids. You know, hit three wineries in one day, sit outside, play ball, hang out. Less on the wine, more on the outside/trip part of it.

btw, if you're planning on seven days, I'd spend five in wine country and two in San Francisco.

The summer vacation thing is grating on me, too. Trying to figure out if I'll be able to go back to Chicago to visit family and if I do, what about my H? Will he just meet me at the airport on my way back and then take the kids for a week to his Mom's in northern Michigan? The thought of the separate vacations just deflates me so I ignore it.

[minkerman]

I have decided to do LRT.

After this weekend, with W telling me I "have her blessing" to start dating other women, I really feel I need to take another detachment step. She needs to feel me pulling away...of course, lovingly.

I have dusted off DR and will start reading it again tonight.

I will see how long I can go without initiating contact...one day at a time. We shared one email today, and I felt no desire from her to keep anything going.

Evaluate your progress, do what works, stop what doesn't?

It ain't working so good right now, so I think changing the dynamic will do something. But the question is - what?

[minkerman]

Just a sidebar:

I got this email, unprovoked, on Sunday evening, after we spent much of Saturday sorting through all the stuff we took off our boat, which is for sale:
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Hey Mink <her nickname for me>,

I took the #15 sunscreen oil and cream. You have never used these but I realized when I was back here putting them away, that you might want the cream on your face. Sorry. Didn't even think!

You can buy it at ABC Drugs when you go to the running store before April 25 (it runs out) to spend your gift certificate. teehee

Don't you have $50 to spend at Moore's clothing too? Oooh it's spring, a NEW SHIRT sounds in order...

Pls don't forget our taxes :-) I can't believe you're stuck with this now. Remember how I used to sit at the kitchen table for 1/2 a day and manually calculate all of it? Ack - so much simpler now. Thank you so much for doing this. It is appreciated.

<she signed with my nickname for her>

peace
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I read that and thought "Wow...what a nice email...I must have done something right this weekend".

Since then, not a f'ing peep.

Thoughts?????

[AmyC]

Did you reply to that email?

[minkerman]

Yes I did, Amy. Just a short reply, saying no worries on the taxes.

[AmyC]

There wasn't really an opening for her to say anything back then.

Therefore, you count the blessings that were in her original email to you...

There were plenty: Nicknames, winks, lighthearted references to the past...

Don't overlook the little things.

Handled with grace and humility, they usher in the bigger things.



Amy

[cw68]

MM, you're a study of someone with a plan. I can see why you want to do this. Part of it is for the shock to her, the other part is to take some control. I'm struggling with this idea too.

I think right now it wouldn't hurt anything and could possibly help. Keep the "lovingly" part in mind.