Living one day at a time

[fightingirish]

Just wanted to stop by and say Hi H... lurking around a bit.

[klm]

Have no expectations Husband. Don't let her reaction either way affect you. It is possible that she does need to be reminded that you are still interested.

You said she had a job interview a while back, has she heard anything about it? Is she working at all? How long has she been out of a job?

[Dr LOve]

Thanks for stopping by KLM,

No I can not expect anything. But I do have to say I did grow some really pretty yellow roses. I put them on the coffee table in the living room where she watches her soaps.
She came home a little late so as I was helping son with homework I was putting in a pizza because I did not know if she would be home on time. I had one pizza done when she got home and was just putting in the other. She said I see ya made pizza but I am still making dinner. I am making that noodle dish you like. I said ok sorry but I did not know if you were going to be home in time to make dinner. She said that's ok. Then as I was holding the pizza on the cardboard it came in I was just about to slide it into the over, she said “DON"T leave the cardboard under it!! Ok a little background here I did do that once... Ok I was in a hurry. But here is the good part... The OLD "husband" would have lashed back saying...rather loud... I KNOW I’M NOT STUPID.... BUT this time I just kind of laughed and said I know I already tried that... and WE both laughed... Ok so my plan is before I go to bed I will walk into the living room to say good night and then ask her... Do you like the roses I picked for ya??

Boy I got off track here sorry klm did hear back and she did not get that job. She has been out of work for almost a year. I sometimes think what would have happened if I would have just called it quits after I found out about the A. about three weeks later she lost her job and then got really sick. Would have seemed like the end of the world to her. (She did work a temp job for about 6 months ending in Oct 07. When I came home today she was in a chipper mood I asked her something about my palm not working and said It can wait until you are through studding and she said I'm not studding, I am re writing my Resume...

So all is well at the "husband" house hold tonight. Tomorrow I am going to my Q S class. I will ask them if they really think I should wait the whole two weeks before quitting...( did ya see that reading about two weeks?) I don't want to jump the gun and quit before the meds kick in and fail. I AM GOING TO QUIT... I promise all of you. Part of my marriage disconnect was because I did not want to be too close to wife because on the smoke smell...

Late I need to go check the "other" board

Bye

[klm]

BUT this time I just kind of laughed and said I know I already tried that... and WE both laughed...

GREAT job on that!! That could have very easily turned out bad if you had gotten defensive. Way to go.

Ok so my plan is before I go to bed I will walk into the living room to say good night and then ask her... Do you like the roses I picked for ya??

Sounds like a plan to me...very casual.

Sorry to hear that she didn't get the job. That can be very stressful. I will keep her in my thoughts, hopefully something will come up for her soon.

Good Luck at your class. I think you will do great, you sound very motivated. Just keep thinking about your son and all the money you are going to save!!

[Dr LOve]

Thanks Klm,

Update... I decided that I am not going to say anything. The Flowers are there. She is the only one that sits in there. (Oh ya it's raining and I lit the fireplace too.)
I think if I say anything then I am looking for acknowledgement. I am looking to get something in return...

So it is done...

have a great night
later
H

[cw68]

Ah, I think you should say something about the roses, like pretty flowers for my pretty wife. Women do like to be wooed, they do like to be complimented. Or, it's a gray day, thought you might like a little pretty in the room. Say it as you're walking out and top it with a kiss on the top of her head. Then walk away. You'll definitely leave her thinking...

[Dr LOve]

cw68,
Too late,

I did not say anything and she did not either. NOT trying to read anything into this BUT.....I swear I believe she is fine with things as long as I show no hope for our marriage. She is fine until I show some form of "intimacy" then she backs off like thinking. "Man why does he not understand I am not interested"
No worries, I did it, it's done. We will see what happens


Husband

[klm]

It may be best that you just put the flowers there and didn't say anything about them, she saw them, she knows you put them there.

I think you are at a very difficult place in the process. You feel you need to do something to shake things up a bit...but fear of rejection is stopping you. I had the same fear. That is why I went for talking about it rather than just going for it. ...Seems a physical rejection would be harder for me.

Maybe for the time being you should focus on quitting smoking. Get that under control before you do anything. That will give her time to continue to look for a job. At some point though...she may not be able to use that for an excuse. I think it is a valid excuse...but it could be a LONG time before something comes up.

Let us know how the meeting goes today! Good luck!

[Yoyowife]

Husband,
The flowers were so thoughtful. I think I would have fainted if my H ever did anything like that! She does not realize what a man she has!

Keep on doing what you are doing. They say slow and steady wins the race.

Hugs, Yoyo

[klm]

The flowers were so thoughtful. I think I would have fainted if my H ever did anything like that! She does not realize what a man she has!

Me too! To be honest, I think I would RATHER my H just do that and not say anything about it. Like you said, if you had said something it would have seemed like you were looking for acknowledgement. I think it would be nice to have someone do something nice for me without looking for anything in return. Good job Dr. Love!