I think you're right that a lot of the emotional intimacy issue is a product of our gender and personality differences. And at some point, we can choose to make peace with it and appreciate the good things we enjoy or keep fighting it and be miserable.
For the most part I've made peace with it. The broken trust of the past does make it difficult to leave it alone and not worry about recurrences, but so far, we seem to be on solid ground. And for that I'm grateful.
I will work on being more aware of being open and available for him when he is ready to talk, and to follow through with some extra-special gestures afterward.
