Don't worry, the more posts i read and from the book, even the sucesses have regular backslides, some of them huge (from what I can make out). I have had a small one today (i think, might of gone semi unnoticed), but i believe they are unavoidable by human nature. We know where we went wrong and we are changing and changing for the long term and just want a chance. However, we need to prove the changes are long term and earn the chnace.
i try and relate things to what I know and in footy, you have to earn the right to play in the early exchanges and that is what i'm trying to do. i still try and make the killer pass sometimes or the volleyed goal rather than a slower more patient build up with a tap in at the end.
(just came up with that on the spot but I like it !!!)
Mike, all I can tell you is to "act as if" I know this is not easy to do as it took me 5 months to get to this point. I read in a thread last week that our spouses can see it all over our faces that we are doing everything for them and them only. If your W is like my W, she wants you to change for you as those are the type of changes that will last. My W sees everything I do a manupulitive for trying to win her back. If I didn't change my ways and do it for myself, I would never make headway with this. If nothing else, you will feel much better about things. I am much further in this than you are as far as time goes, change for yourself and don't let her see that you care about whatever the outcome may be.
You have been following my sitch, I can see that W does feel more comfortable around me right now, of course that may change tomorrow. Try this and see what happens, I know it isn't easy but she knows she has you in a bind right now, don't let her see it. It may work, it may not, give it a chance and see if you see any changes at all. You are helping her with her decision, she knows she has you where she wants you right now so she doesn't have to think about anything other than going forward, if she realizes you will go forward regardless of what happens, she may have a change of heart. Don't give up, you have come to far.
Mike, all I can tell you is to "act as if" I know this is not easy to do as it took me 5 months to get to this point. I read in a thread last week that our spouses can see it all over our faces that we are doing everything for them and them only. If your W is like my W, she wants you to change for you as those are the type of changes that will last. My W sees everything I do a manupulitive for trying to win her back. If I didn't change my ways and do it for myself, I would never make headway with this. If nothing else, you will feel much better about things. I am much further in this than you are as far as time goes, change for yourself and don't let her see that you care about whatever the outcome may be.
You have been following my sitch, I can see that W does feel more comfortable around me right now, of course that may change tomorrow. Try this and see what happens, I know it isn't easy but she knows she has you in a bind right now, don't let her see it. It may work, it may not, give it a chance and see if you see any changes at all. You are helping her with her decision, she knows she has you where she wants you right now so she doesn't have to think about anything other than going forward, if she realizes you will go forward regardless of what happens, she may have a change of heart. Don't give up, you have come to far.
I'm trying Ping I'm trying. I just get so depressed and frustrated when I backslide.
Everyone around me is telling me to move on. Get it done, finish it. I'm hearing everything from it's her hormones, it's her mother, she has another man. W has led me to believe she's not sure but when I backslide it's like she's hell bent. She just gets so pissed and angry and I get so depressed.
I'm trying hard man. This is just so damn difficult. I guess when I backslide it's almost like a "flashback" to her. She sees the old Mike and gets ready to fight.
