Hi Ali! Thanks for understanding! Finally, someone can see where I'm coming from. Phew! Thought I was going a bit mental there since it didn't seem I was being heard.
I'm actually doing okay. Better than I thought I would actually. They took a biopsy on Saturday and found it's cancerous. They'll do more talking about things and probably another (full) scraping Saturday as well. I'm not sure I'm pretty calm for some reason. I know I'm being watched over. I think since it's not spread all over helps to know they can get it out and can remove my uterus if they have to. That'll be hard I think since we worked hard on fertility issues after losing our babies and then trying for D. But, at the same time, I'm not using my uterus at this time either. I'm just trying to use humor and prayer right now. I'm 34 years old and don't feel like I'm going to die just yet.
As you can see from my reply to Kissak, I have told H. I agree. He should know. He's still my H and D's dad and I would want to know if it were him.
To think that the "cast members" have spent hours and hours trying to help you to learn how to detach and how to cope and how to function normally again.
We have been giving out advice and have handed out the necessary 2x4's and the hugs and have really tried to just be a support to you, and now you do this.
For months you have groaned and bitched and whined and complained about everything under the sun. From your job, to your co-workers, your in-laws, your Husband, your Daughter's school, your finances, your weight, the list goes on and on.
And now, out of the blue you want to tell us you have cancer.
Not once have you ever mentioned this before, or even alluded to it.
You never mentioned you had a Doctor appointment, and from your history you would have been blabbing on and on about this.
You say that they are doing a biopsy.
So, does your Doctor just know you have Cancer before he/she gets the results?
None of this makes sense.
Dar, I have tried and tried to be there for you, so have the other cast members, but now, I will sit back and watch from a distance.
I will watch you flail and flounder as you try to figure out more attention seeking things to do.
I hope I am wrong about you, but it is really hard to believe a single word that comes out of your mouth.
You are self deluded if you think you are a positive person. You have balls babe, I will give you that. To start out a thread the way you did with that vile post, doesn't show anything more then the works of someome who likes to stir the sh*t.
What exactly were you hoping to accomplish?
Not once do you ever follow through on any of the things you say you are going to do.
You groan and whine over every little thing that takes you out of your comfort zone.
You make excuses.
IF and I say this lightly, IF this IS the side of you that your Husband sees, I only have one thing to say to him.....
RUN FORREST RUN
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
I'm actually doing okay. Better than I thought I would actually. They took a biopsy on Saturday and found it's cancerous. They'll do more talking about things and probably another (full) scraping Saturday as well
Previous post said your appointment was on Thursday
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
BND, I NEVER put names out there at all. Jack decided to do that. I said that those who have used names as I listed know who they are.
Do I really have to check in when I have a pap smear? I wasn't aware of that. I'll start posting when I sneeze and fart to if you'd like. Nah, just kidding.
You all have hounded me to get out of the funk and into the positives of life. I am now, even with this news, and now I'm chastised (?). I really don't know what you guys want anymore other than to stomp me to the ground.
Jeanette, I'm actually out now and have been all day. Like yesterday's post said, I went to the movies with my mom. D is with H. I'm enjoying the quiet and will actually be planting seeds when I get home soon before getting D. After I pick her up, it's off to church and to family's for dinner.
I don't see why it is that I can see myself changing/growing, but no one here sees it. Again, there are others here that are just as back and forth as I am and they don't get the same cold remarks to belittle them. I've learned to let alot of this roll of my back though seeing there are lots of different sitches out there and lots of different ways the same person will speak to others.
Edited by darboyd5 (04/19/08 05:47 PM) _________________________
You wrote this post on Saturday. There is no mention of your Doctor appointment. Not a word Dar
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Your ploy or seemingly attempted ploy to bring in people, have them feel sorry for you and pat you on your BIG ASSS!
You see...for those of us whom have been here a long time, we can see through the words, we can figure out your personality, your likes, dislikes from merely reading. Now when we interact with you it sharpens our though process as we were trying to figure out what would work best for dar...
If I thought it worthy of my time, I would go dig back up those numerous contradictions, but I feel it just wouldn't make a difference.
But for those of us whom have actively participated in helping you and not just merely bystanding reading, then they would understand the frustration level you bring.
So with that said....
I too wish you luck. I hope those that feel sorry for you and are going to say prayers for you have put thier faith in a worthy cause dar. I truly do.
I just hate to think, and I do, that your just playing with peoples emotions on here.
Thats it.
Jeanette
Some of us really pay close attention to detail.
You've contradicted yourself so many times I cannot even begin to take count.
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
Shouldn't need to post every single thing love. I didn't know the results then either. My apologies if you want to find something fishy, that's sad, but there's nothing fishy here.
