Time to turn it around

[Bworl]

As an outside observing, this sure looks like the proverbial junior high school lunch room, complete with the popular and unpopular people.

There are lots of people I respect very much on your thread Dar. Always have been. These are caring and honest people. They do a pretty fine job of judging when kid gloves are needed or when the hammer needs to fall.

No one likes the hammer.

Hammers pound out imperfections. I think I read somewhere that some of those chinese woks that are supposed to be soooo good are hammered thousands of times to make them into the fine cooking implement they are.

Still, I suppose it's natural to resist when people are pounding on you all the time. But you see Dar, this place is all about changing the way we USED to do things - you know, the unhealthy way of doings things that contributed to the marital messes we all endured or are enduring - and finding a new way to face the truth. I think that's what all these fine folks are trying to do with you.

You have to find a way to embrace it and confront their honest comments without coming across as though you're making excuses.

Reality is that we are judged not by our words but by our actions. That is the reality that we HAVE to apply to wayward spouses, because otherwise none of this ever makes sense. But it's also the reality that we need to begin applying to ourselves.

It's our actions, not our words, that prove who we are and how far we have come.

Ok, Bill-soapbox vs1.1.1 over now.

I think it's time we all exercised that fundamental right that we all have. I think it goes like this...

a) If you don't like what someone's saying, feel free to ignore them.
b) If you can't stand the direction someone is taking, and you feel like they won't listen, move on to someone who WILL take your help.

Best wishes with your medical problems. Cancer seems to be everywhere these days. Your children need you.


Blessings,

Bill