On my weaker days, I remember that if I choose selfishly to be with someone else, who is easier for me to be with; it will deprive my children of the unified family that they NEED.
i dont' think those are week days, it is just you being HUMAN, craving for companionship and for a loving R like any of us, we all feel that way, I actually don't remember the last time being held with actual love, it's normal to want to have a R with someone who is happy to see us and to whom we are also their best friend.
It is not about having someone else who is easier to be with, it is about finding a loving partner. Sadly, your W, like my H, have lost sight of what a family is, symbolizes, it is like it is not on their vocabulary, they dont' find joy in that family union anymore, their selfishness/cowardice does not let them fight for what could be a great M/family.
I too gotten my times when I wanted to go to a bar and ...
But, we would both hate ourselves in the morn, and we actually have morals, unlike our Ss.
Her high may or may not go away in 5/10/15yrs, it is now time to take care of yourself and make plans as if she' not coming back, 4yrs is an awful long time. I'm aware that a few Ms have been saved after 3yrs and plus, frankly, I've given all I could and I just couln't put my life on hold anymore hoping stbx will come back to me. More power to those who can live in limbo for so long, it depends on how long you are willing to wait without self-destruction.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
