I'm sorry you're in such a bad place right now. If being alone makes it worse, by all means gt up and out and stay busy. I think we all spin in and out of the darkness with this mess (I know I do), I only know what works for me and the biggest help is walking. You should see th miles I rack up on Sunday's. Anyway, if not talking to him helps, now is probably your chance. Of course you realize you never have to say much if you don't want to. It doesn't mean you have to come off as pouting, just be in the middle of something (even if it's picking your nose works for me ).
You need to give yourself time before you'll know if you even want to be friends with him. I know that right now I'm angry b/c of difficulties D13 is having and I had a hard time just letting him know (sent e-mail). I don't expect to hear back from him regarding this at all. I'm nice when we talk, but he doesn't put any effort into contacting me. So I deal with myself and D's as best I can. You are too. Give yourself some credit. It'll get better.
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