Sue, in response to your post on my thread...I don't think my H has a drinking problem (definately setting himself up for one though!!), so maybe the chemicals in your H's brain causes him to 'react' differently when he has consumed too much. Your H is very angry at himself for many reasons (deep down, he realizes his problem with alcohol even if he never utters it out loud, not to mention his lack of morals lately), and that comes out when he drinks. He doesn't even remember half/all of what he says to you.
And don't worry the 'remorse' thing from my H is usually followed with a "Forget what I said" or "I was drunk, don't know what I was saying" in the morning. Blecky.
