Back off on the snooping - and I include "over the shoulder reading her email" in that. If I read your posts correctly, everything that you discovered was from OM1 and OM2 to your W, not from her to either of them. So, what, now she is guilty if she even reads an email from one of them, whether she asked for it or not?
OK, you know they are pursuing her - so what did you learn new? Not a thing. But you did undermine her trust for you a little bit. Was it worth it?
On OM1 and the bump... Forgive me if I missed something, but has the baby's paternity been determined? What I'm saying is - if he may be the father, then his interest in it is not surprising. In fact, I would be surprised if he was not interested.
As far as who gets to touch her belly - well, people have very different attitudes and feelings about this, as saffie pointed out. Some women find people feeling their baby kick to be an incredible invasion of privacy, and other women think it is the most wonderful thing to be shared with practically anyone they meet on the street. Your posts are all about how you feel on this topic - but how does your wife feel? Not specifically about OM touching her belly, but about anyone touching her belly? Perhaps this is one happy thing in her life right now, that gives her great joy, and she perceives that you are getting all possessive and controlling about it. That may be way off base - but something to think about....
The bottom line - give your W some space to figure this out. Don't push, don't pursue. I think you are making terrific progress, so try to relax and let her CHOOSE to come back to you rather than forcing the issue.
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
