MG this is my 4th thread. This is what happened last night.
H came by last night and I was in the BR watching TV. He came in and asked what I was watching. We had a little chat about money but he was getting a little sarcastic so I told that I didn't want to argue with him. We solved the little issue and then he mentioned he has an appointment to see his 2nd doctor (this is the one who gave him AD). He said that she will want to talk about the factors that led him to want a D but he says his mind is made up and there's nothing anyone can say to him or they can talk about to change his mind (my stubborn scorpio).
Later in the evening I called him and we kinda had a nice chat. He was saying that he wasn't happy with me and it wasn't all me and that he wanted to make himself happy in order to make the people he loves happy. He told me that the way my parents are and the relationship I have with them really makes him upset and annoyed. My mom and dad do NOT have a very healthy R and he can see us in them and it's not what he wants for us. He says we need be apart to grow.
I was really listening to him and I did validate him a couple of times with "sorry to hear that" and "sorry you feel that way".
The more I control him the further he goes. He even told me that my actions were pushing him away and that one of the reasons he left was because I was so controlling and he felt he didn't have ownership over his time.
Where do I go from here? Last night will be the last time I'll ask him about anything R related. I also will not talk about issues that let to our S. I will live in the present not the past. Him and D leave for Miami/Orlando on Saturday and I want us all to have a nice positive 4 days and when they get back I hope to have a new perspective and plan.
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
