I think she's back

[Abbey]

The problem is that the lies that you've been told before set this whole thing up to expect more of the same. Sara, you didn't make this sitch... HE did. He's the one who's lied and cheated. UNTIL he's ready to be transparent and non flakey... your suspicions are justified. How you act on them however is another thing. Going dark means not caring what the heck it is that he does.

Your comment should be... how was Walmart? Nod if he gives you any kind of answer and if it's more than a few words... walk away.

That ability to shrug and go: "whatever" will balance out this sitch for you. Each of us need to take back a sense of control... some need to go dark, some need to really give their Hs or Ws space, some need to let them just work out their mixed up minds... (mine is out sweeping the driveway - it's 6:20 am right now) *shrug*

The one thing my T really has finally driven home to me was that I had given my H too much control. The more one person does something in a relationship, the more the other doesn't have to put in the effort. Caring "too much" also fits in that category. Backing off makes the other feel off balance and get a sense that they have to fill the gap.

hugs to you
Abbey