T, the unique part of your sitch is the long distance part. Even if he wanted to see you it would be difficult to do. The distance brings detachement, good for you, bad if he detaches completely. All these months going dark did what they were supposed to do. I am NOT saying to pressure him or anything. But sitting around for much longer I don't think has anything more to offer you. You have all the tools, the knowledge, the discipline, you have to revisit your goals re him and your R (no need to set goals for youself, you are already ahead by ...my estimate 5 years at this point) and ACT. I know being patient is acting in our cases, but I definitely believe yours is a bit different.
My thinking behind my suggestion was that since -and I agree- we don't want to push him, or make him feel we are desperate and needy (which we aren't in any case) and since our goal is to create bridges, communication channels, we should think of things to do, that will remind him of you and your personality (and possible make your changes known) to him, without making him feel he needs to do something about it. Just a song (like he did) that you like, that you send him, without asking anything about it, not even if he likes it, for me could do that.
A piece in a newspaper that you can scan and sent him about something you know he would be interested in, with a note "I thought you'd like that" could do that. No questions, nothing.
Especially with your trip to NY you need to at least have made some contact prior to just telling him to meet up there.
I am glad about all your 180s. I am glad you have so much life in you. You had this opportunity to learn yourself, about yourself on time and you make the best out of it. You are a lucky and smart girl.
