Please help me! Wife wants out! (5)

[steve477]

Hi Sandi

Thanks for that.

Part of me wants to `act up` at the injustice of it all. But I am finally getting some consistant behaviour going that is working. So I guess I need to just suck it up and get on with it for now. If I change now then that will not bring her any closer to me. If I make her feel guilty then what does that do? I dont want her to come back because she feels guilty, I want to be with someone who wants to be with me.

Let me address a few points.

This is good. I think she is really wanting you to "not ask permission" to kiss her, but take the iniative like James Bond (or my Rhett Butler...lol) would do. But if you do decide to go for the kiss on the mouth, don't get carried away the first time unless she is responding to you...big time. If so, then go for it..lol.

I really think so too. I sometimes see that it is coming soon, and other times it seems further away. We walked around the supermarket yesterday with my hand in her back jeans pocket holding a lovely lovely cheek! lol. That is a good baby step.

Anytime a W is communicating on the computer and she doesn't want her H to see it......it is b/c she is doing something she shouldn't.

Exactly, but not alot I can do about that at the moment. When we got up this morning, we both apologised for the upset last night. She said that if she will check her PC she wont do it in front of me from now on. Not sure if that is good or bad!

So, what do you do without letting her know you snooped? Well, probably nothing. Because if you tell her, she is going to be more sneaky and it will cause not positive effect on what has transpired. So, just don't mention it to her.

Nothing is the name of the game! Cant do anything at all about it. Just incorporate it into my behaviour.

I think it is very, very inappropriate for another man to want to rub her tummy and talk to the unborn child, hold her, etc. I really would feel the same as you about him. I would be curious as to what her answer was to him over that.

Indeed. Unfortunatly I think her answer is ok. I get the feeling that he has been touching the tummy, but the baby hasnt kicked for him! Thats my girl! She knows who her Daddy is!!!

A man should never touch the belly of a pregnant woman, except for her H. There are a few exceptions where she may allow a relative (like a very young nephew or somebody like that) but that is not something that should be shared between wife and husband. I know I sound old fashion, but I believe in that.

W know that this is exactly my feelings, not mentioned it in regard to OM, I mentioned it in conversation a couple of times.

Steve, I personally do not believe the M will completely be healed until she gets these OM out of her life once and for all. That is what is keeping her so mixed up and sad. I don't think it is you doing it, but the OM. She cannot have all the OM and you too. Doesn't work that way!

I really hope that she will kick both of these OM out of her life before the baby comes. Her hormones are changing now and after the baby they will really be screwed up. Trying to hang on to these OM will not help her during that time in her life.

You are still doing great. Just keep it up. It is mainly up to your W at this point if she is going to let go of these OM or try to hang on to them.

I know, I am just worried that she wont choose me! I have beeing doing well recently. Key point is doing well. I have been able to work at my M. Now I have plateaued a bit and am in a holding pattern waiting for W to do a bit on her side. I dont have any ideas what I can do at the moment. Anyone? I know I have made things better between us, just time will tell now, if W was right when she said `too little, too late`. I just want to protect her and my child. I know I could make these OM go away quite quickly. But that is not how it is going to play out unfortunatly.

Anyway Speak later

Cheers

Steve