I asked my Sister for advice over the phone. She told me that I deserve an explanation as to why all of the sudden after 2-1/2 years she is starting to hit me up like this.
Why now? what has changed? I need complete honesty from her or I'm not ready to talk about this.
I spent all this time learning to be on my own again and accepting the fact I'm not married anymore. I'm OK now and I'm happy. This is to weird.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
Well, I found out what the fuss is all about. I checked the offender database this morning and found out the OM did not get granted parole. His next parole hearing is not until May of 2010.
I suspected as much. Ironically, I actually feel empathy for her. She risked and lost everything on him. I'm also reminded why I'm not interested in reconciliation. She's bailing on him when it didn't suit her needs just like she bailed on me. She's like a candle in the wind. Very sad.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
I guess the best advice I can give you is . . . what do YOU want?
Do you still want an open door for her, or a friendship, or a business relationship? Does it matter to you?
It still doesn't matter what she wants, Tom. I think it's important to remember that. What matters is what you want. If you want something, it's up to you. Only you.
I'm content and happy the way things are now. I have a renewed enthusiasm for life that I have not experienced for some time now. If I were to have a serious relationship again, it would have to be on a lot deeper and meaningful level than she's capable of going right now. She's not at the same maturity level emotionally as I am now. She's lost because she can't come to grips with the truth about who she is or what she wants. We're not a good match.
I can and do want to be her friend now, but I am not attracted to her on any higher level than that.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
ATGO - If that's how you feel, then it's okay to respond to her with "I'm here as your friend and for co-parenting our child, but the decisions you made really killed my love for you and I have moved on. I wish for you that you are able to move on to a healthier future for yourself."
OR - of course, you COULD just say "sucks to be you!". But you're way too classy a guy.
I've told her that I'm OK with the way things are and that I no longer feel the way about her that I use to. I told her that those feelings no longer exist but that I'm here to support her financially and emotionally with raising our S8.
She was all puzzled when I told her this and said... "Wow Tom, you really know how to stroke the old ego, don't you? Now I'm not attractive to you?" I didn't respond to that comment. I think this is a defining moment for her. It's really an opportunity for her to grow up here. I think she thought I was still pinning for her all this time.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
