Wow, thank you so much for your super thoughtful post!!! I had to think it over.
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I guess I'm thinking that maybe you are confusing being controlling with being independent and centered?!?
You are AMAZING!!!! I actually talked about this with my therapist today and it was part of a big breakthrough I had.... details will follow in the next post!! Thank you so much for pointing this out, b/c I don't know if I ever could have figured it out by myself!!!
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What have you attributed to your part in the breakdown of your relationship?
OK... I think I answered this question a lil' bit a while back when you asked me "how could he stand to be apart from you?" and I answered that, but maybe we will dig up some new stuff now:
-not listening to his concerns or being willing to discuss them -underestimating the stress of being long distance (assuming our R was indestructable) -not being willing to discuss my own boundaries -being extremely stressed about grad school and leaning on him/taking it out on him while giving him less energy, love, time -trying to control my environment/the people around me because I am afraid of not getting what I want -not picking up on his hints that he was unhappy -thinking that we were solid after our first breakthrough instead of going to counseling & piecing
etc....
Right now I am feeling very very strong and solid. At the moment
Well, maybe some day we can meet in person, and then I will be less of a mystery!!!!!
