Sue, thanks. Sadly, my H was sober when he decided to jerk-out on me. I don't know which is worse, drunk or sober. Honestly, H has never gone off on me drunk. He is usually very remorseful when he drinks.
Kalni, thanks for stopping by!
Karen, I totally agree with finding others to depend on. I bought a new lawnmower this summer, did some car repairs (ok, took it to a shop but all on my own) all on my own, etc. Its just very hard to impose on friends and family to watch the girls from 4pm-12m (many time longer). H needs to step up for that, but I do have an emergency plan for each day.
Gypsy, thanks for understanding. I do try to stop focusing on H for most of the time, but sometimes that big elephant wants a peanut......
Journaling:
MIL watched the kids yesterday for me while I worked. I got a huge hug from her, but we didn't talk at all because the girls were around. Step FIL walked me to my car, hugged me, offered any support he could, and wants to kick H's hiney for his decision making. I cried, but collected myself quickly. The girls had SO much fun with Grandma... and Grandma dropped a pretty penny at Build A Bear.
H was shocked MIL watched the girls (he shows NO concern who watches them on Sundays, leaves it up to me to find someone), and asked if she said anything to me.
I continue to put my game face on, play Monopoly with my D3 instead of wallowing on the couch, smiling kindly at H instead of shaking him and asking WTF he is doing. In the meantime, I quietly process this in my head, with my friends, and in my sleep.
