Hello Mr. MLC part quatro...

[Runswithscissors]

What it boils down to is that I may or may not take H back if he decided to come back. I am still unsure...honestly I am.
------>I would be confused too, hence the reason you need to be alone without another man in order to clear your head and make the decision for your family.


My affair is not some payback for his. One minute I want H back the next I don't because I don't know that I could ever trust him again.
--------->no, its not a payback. You had the affair before you KNEW your husband had one. And trust.. I am sure your H will have those same issues too.

I am doing what I feel I need to right now to get through my days. You said many get up each day determined to get through this bad spot in their lives...well I see what i am doing as exactly that...me getting through this bad spot in my life.
--------->afraid of being alone.



Many disagree with it and I can respect that however I am not perfect and neither is anyone here or hell...none of us would be here in the first place.
--------->I dont' disagree, but unlike you- most of us here are wanting to repair our marriage not destroy it. Furthermore, most of us here apply the principles behind the site... DBing.


I realize my children will realize in time that I am seeing someone else if it hasn't fizzled out by then however I am doing EVERYTHING in my humanly possible power right now to prevent them from knowing. I don't want to introduce them to more emotional trauma and stress. Yes, many of you reading this will want to scream right at your monitor now because as you see it that is exactly what I AM DOING by being with someone who isn't their father.
------------>they will know in time... and regardless of their age it will have a HUGE effect on them... you just refuse to see it... I am a child of a parent who had an affair. I found out at 18 and I can not to this day look at that parent with the same eyes. But, it's YOUR life.. you do what you want to with it...... just remember YOUR life includes innocent children who didn't ask for this... and one day it's going to slap them right between the eyes.... By all means, continue to be selfish becuase you can't be "alone".

I also realize there will be more posts against what I am doing than any that even remotely stop to think that maybe this is OK for me...not you or them but OK for me personally.
------------>sure, it's "okay" for you.