Hello Mr. MLC part quatro...

[mymonkeybug]

What it boils down to is that I may or may not take H back if he decided to come back. I am still unsure...honestly I am.

My affair is not some payback for his. One minute I want H back the next I don't because I don't know that I could ever trust him again.

I am doing what I feel I need to right now to get through my days. You said many get up each day determined to get through this bad spot in their lives...well I see what i am doing as exactly that...me getting through this bad spot in my life.

Many disagree with it and I can respect that however I am not perfect and neither is anyone here or hell...none of us would be here in the first place.

I realize my children will realize in time that I am seeing someone else if it hasn't fizzled out by then however I am doing EVERYTHING in my humanly possible power right now to prevent them from knowing. I don't want to introduce them to more emotional trauma and stress. Yes, many of you reading this will want to scream right at your monitor now because as you see it that is exactly what I AM DOING by being with someone who isn't their father.

I also realize there will be more posts against what I am doing than any that even remotely stop to think that maybe this is OK for me...not you or them but OK for me personally.