He has been told by me in the last couple weeks that all this nonsense can stop if he comes home and that all I want is for my family unit of 4 together again.
Honestly I am not trying to be a smart arse but I am so confused. You keep contradicting yourself.
Go back and read your post.
So is the affair you are having a "payback" thing?
And the Guy you are screwing knows you are Married and wanting to reconcile with your Husband?
And he is OK with all of this?
Quote:
I almost believe that he is so shamed and guilty for what he has done to me that he would much rather see me happy with someone else that won't do to me what he did and is hoping that is this current person. Now sure anyone is capable of cheating including this current person.
And the part that absolutely fascinates me is that only your Husband is guilty of cheating but not you because he was the first one to drop his pants with a stranger?
And you are justified to continue in this lifestyle because you are afraid to be alone.
Quote:
I am scared shitless of being ALONE. I have had my H with me since 16 and now at 35 don't. I honestly don't want to live alone without the companionship of a man. So if that makes me weak or lacking of self love or self respect as others may see it so be it.
So the Man you so desperately love and want in your life is off with someone else and because you don't want to be lonley you are schtupping someone on the side.
Oy Vey es mere!!!
Honestly, I think you should be seeing a really good therapist to find out the real reasons you would engage in this behavior.
Where do your kids fit into this picture?
What do they think?
Many of us have been dealt the job of being alone and raising the kids by ourselves.
You do the best you can and you get up each day determined to get through this bad spot in your life.
You learn how to make each day just a little better and brighter for the children because they are the ones that are also hurting.
Ask anyone here how long they went without sex when their Husband or Wife ran away from home.
No I am NOT judgeing you, I am just telling you that I am concerned for you and your welfare and for the welfare of your children.
I chose NOT to date anyone when my Husband left me partly because I have young daughters at home, and I didn't want them to be exposed to anyone that just might be a child molester.
I also wanted to set an example for my children.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
