Hi, the reason so many think your W is having an A is b/c we have seen this same story played out in other lives too many times. It isn't that you are that gullible, but you have always trusted her and you don't want to believe she is having an affair. You speak of an EA as if it were nothing, but I had an EA, never led to the physical, but I can tell you that it was an affair non the less. I cheated on my H! Some people do not believe that to be true, but it is, b/c it is an affair of the heart.....and depending how far you carry out the "emotional" part. I just don't see a wife and mother going out to the places she is going without her H and staying until the wee hours of the morning that is up to anything but no good.

Having said all that (again), let me say that you can wait this out and like some have warned, it will probably get worse before it gets better. One sign of your W's bad language in front of the children is b/c of the bad company she is keeping. It is telling off on her. I think if you tell her that she is too much of a "lady" to talk that way in front of her children....that will make her think twice about what she is doing. It works better than putting her down and shaming her.....which you haven't done that, but I know that most mothers want to be seen as a lady by their family.

I think those of us who have tried to tell you to prepare yourself to find out there may be an affair, just do not want to see you completely crash and are trying to warn you. Your wife may even try to tell you that she has had an EA if she thinks that you look at it as "nothing serious" the way you have implied. However, I still would have my doubts that she hasn't had sex. It may have been a one night stand and not an "affair".....people can play on words. Just prepare yourself b/c if she hasn't went all the way......I think it is just a matter of time before she will. I hope that things will begin to turn around before that happens.

Sandi



It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!